Some days are tougher than others. My spirits are good but my stress level is through the roof! It started when my landlord called to let me know that he had to tent our home for termites and replace the deck. I live on the second floor and won’t have access for a week or so. I don’t care—it has to get done and it’s easy for me to stay with a friend. But, it launched me into a spiral.
My solution is to call my landlord and ask what his plans are.
He is not going to raise the rent much—maybe $100 which is no big deal, I’ll lease a cheaper car. He has no issues with a newborn. However, he does tell me that once she’s up and about, I will have to move or figure out how to prevent her from falling through the deck railing or down the stairs. Good point. I never even thought of that.
Back to work. I am showing now which means people choose to touch my stomach at their whim. I really don’t care about this either. I leave at 4:30 to go to Pilates.
It's a little humiliating. I have been going since December but today, I am stiff and can’t move how I did just yesterday. The instructor provides prenatal modifications and instead of feeling like a pregnant goddess, I feel like a walrus with bad skin. I want to be alone and I want to be with people. I don’t know what to do.
I call Caroline. Her 8-year old answers and let’s me know that the Indian Ocean is actually the third largest ocean—and that she has never seen any ocean. I hear it as a sign that I should NOT move. I am 2 blocks from the Pacific.
We decide I will take myself to dinner. That way, I can be alone, around people and choose my favorite, hippy drippy place that is raw and vegan. I need some serious veggies after a week of "salads" made of iceberg lettuce, tomato wedges and "chicken." I turn off my phone and order a raw, vegan pizza. I feel better, but, still overwhelmed.
What are we going to do with a baby?