My second doctor appointment is at 10:30. I am working from home and trying to stay calm. I won't lie. It's been really stressful waiting for this day. It's when I get the results of the NIPT and learn if there are any risk-factors for chromosomal disease.
We went through the list of diseases to decide what indicators we'd talk about and what indicators we are okay with. If everything is clear, then I am sharing the news wider and owning the fact that I am pregnant and becoming a mom.
I am afraid that people will judge me for being single, pregnant and uninterested in marriage. I have this graphic "Hester Prynne" montage of shaming. Truth is, I am not ashamed. Likely I judge them for their lifestyles. I have never wanted "traditional" and neither way is right or wrong.
I go for a walk. Catch up on emails and send S a quick note. I will call him after.
The office is the same--friendly and efficient. I pee in a cup, get weighed (down a pound which makes me nervous), strip down and don my paper gown.
Today, I meet the doctor (last time, I saw a nurse practicioner) who is equally rad and might deliver the baby (if she is working that day). She knows how nervous I am and assures me that she does this all day.
She reveals the results of the tests. We are clear! There are no indicators of disease. I am so relieved -- I didn't realize how stressed out I was until the burden was lifted.
There are no "Y" chromosomes present. It's a girl! Her heartbeat is a fierce 160 bpm. She is healthy.
Deep breath. Ohhhhhhhh. . . this just got real. I am growing a baby girl. She is the size of a plum and completely reliant on me and my choices to blossom in to a person.
I dress, schedule my next appointment and am set free to go. Where? I sit outside for a few minutes to let this soak in. This is worth celebrating! I decide to go to a local bakery for pink-filled cupcakes.