How do people get out of bed? I can't. I literally can not. It's not mental exhaustion although I didn't sleep too well last night. I was distracted with thoughts of money--or rather my highly irrational fears that I will not have enough money and that me and baby will live in a cardboard box under a bridge and I will obviously lose my teeth. No. This is a complete physical exhaustion. I don't even know how to move.
F. I have to go to work. It's too soon to tell them I am pregnant and I've worn out my "work from home" card post foot-surgery. I text Caroline for advice. "How do people get out of bed? I can't move and think I'm going to barf." "Are you frat-party hung over?" "Ha! I wish. The symptoms are exactly the same." "Give yourself 15-minutes and then a 3-2-1 countdown." Ugh. She's right. Why does everything feel like a WOD? I wallow for exactly 15-minutes and then suck it up. Nope. Head rush. I have to sit down. I think this through. I don't need to wash my hair and can definitely take a "French" shower. I rinsed after yoga last night. I give myself 5 more minutes and then push through. Thank god for meetings. I stay focused and team-oriented for 3 full hours. At lunch, I sneak out for a bag of ginger chews and a box of ginger tea. Then, breeze through a conference call and make one Power Point. It’s 3 pm and it is totally on point for me to wrap up at home. I am on my couch by 3:30. Now what? I don’t feel like doing anything but I loathe the unproductivity. I check my phone and see a text from tonight’s cycling sub. She has a wicked case of laryngitis. Shit. I definitely can’t rally. I give her a quick call (I think she sounds fine) and offer her cash on top of the hourly rate. I can not do it. I stare at the walls for the next few hours holding my bare belly and wondering what’s going on in there. I download the "What to Expect" app and learn that it's just a orange seed. An orange seed is kicking my ass and it has a tail. Ugh. I rally for 2 more ginger chews and walk to yoga. I need to feel some semblance of control over my body and it works. I'm home by 7 and in bed by 8. For today, baby wins.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
I am:A creative thinker/problem solver/hustler. . . future mother. Archives
December 2021
|